Mountain from mole hills
Some times a thing will be brought to my attention.
This time is was a concern from a customer that I had an encounter with on a recent shift at work. I received an email from a manager asking me to explain my side of the story.
My main point is this, why should I have to explain myself? Why am I being attacked? Every day I have to deal with real concerns and on this day I have delegated this thing to the top of my priority list. This thing should not even be on my priority list at all, much less at or near the top. I am sitting in my car with heavy rain hitting my windshield. As I look out at the traffic, it seems to me that there are many more important things to concern myself with.
This has been a struggle my whole life. I feel like my emotions completely override my logical self reasoning. I work hard everyday and I try to cross my t's and dot my i's, but at the end of the day I can not please every one. My intentions are pure. I want to make the world a better place. I want to be a force for good. I also, from a place of naivety, want to make every one happy. I want it to just work out for people, even when it may all seem impossible. [I work in emergency services]
Then there is this. I receive feedback that I have failed. I have failed so miserably that a person has felt compelled to reach out with an official complaint. Whats even worse is that the complaint is directly related to my as a person, to my personality, to my way of easing tension in an emotional situation. We should feel free to be our selfs as we conduct our selfs in a manor that is professional and polite. I "check myself" so I do not "wreck myself". But even with all my internal check list and self retrospection, I still deal with self doubt. Its days like this that call into question the essence of "me".
I have worked in the public space for 12 years. I deal with the customers directly. So I know a big part of my job is indeed public relations. I know that because I am faced with it on a daily basis and I have to be the "professional" in every situation and in every encounter. 12 hours is a long shift. I work hard and try hard. I even apologize when I know that I have failed or perhaps it is perceived that I have failed.
Before I fall apart on here let me finish with this,
I am just as human as the next person. Maybe, just maybe I can get the benefit of the doubt as well.
Sorry for being so heavy again,